It’s Not About You
And That’s the Best News You’ll Hear All Week
Hi Leaders,
We’ve been a little quiet over the past two weeks — heads down, building and dreaming up some big things for this community. (The kind of work that requires focus, intention, and a little creative space.)
But we’re excited to be back — and we’re returning with a topic that feels both timely and deeply personal.
Because here’s something I’ve learned over the years:
Leadership may seem primarily like a self-reflection practice… but it’s not actually about you.
If I’m honest, my leadership journey didn’t begin with some grand vision of serving others.
It began with me.
When I was first promoted into leadership roles, my thoughts sounded something like this:
How am I being perceived?
Do I look capable enough?
What does my manager think?
Am I doing this right?
How do I succeed here?
And that’s normal.
Early leadership often feels personal. You’re stepping into new responsibility, visibility increases, and the stakes feel higher. It’s easy to believe leadership is about proving yourself.
But somewhere along the way — throughout my 16+ year tenure at Disney, leading teams at Tic Toc Games and co-founding Leadership Mastery Network — I realized something that fundamentally changed how I lead:
Leadership may begin as self-reflection… but it’s not about you.
It’s about learning to lead yourself so you can better lead and impact others.
And that shift changes everything.
The Turning Point
The biggest growth in my career didn’t happen when I focused on getting ahead.
It happened when I started asking:
How can I make someone else’s work clearer?
How can I create space for someone else’s voice?
How can I help this person grow beyond what they see in themselves?
That’s when leadership stopped being about performance — and started being about impact.
And here’s the truth, most people learn later in their careers:
Your long-term success is directly tied to how you elevate the people around you.
Your peers.
Your team.
Those you manage directly.
Those you influence indirectly.
When they grow, you grow.
A Simple Daily Shift
If you want to begin living this today, start here:
Ask yourself every morning: What is one thing I can do today to help someone around me grow?
It could be:
Giving someone more ownership.
Offering specific feedback that helps them stretch.
Making an introduction.
Removing a blocker.
Listening more intentionally.
The shift is subtle — but powerful.
The moment your focus turns outward, something surprising happens:
Your confidence grows.
Your presence strengthens.
Your leadership becomes more natural.
Because impact builds identity.
Practical Ways to Practice “It’s Not About You”
Here are a few ways to intentionally build this muscle:
Join or Create a Leadership Community
Leadership grows in conversation.
Join a small, intentional group where you can reflect, share wins, wrestle with challenges, and stay accountable. (Our Leadership Mastermind was created to help leaders not only tackle this concept but apply and practice it until it becomes second nature — but you can also start your own circle. It doesn’t have to be complicated.)
Growth accelerates in community.Start a Reflection Practice
Leadership requires processing.
That doesn’t mean it has to look perfect.
- Use our The Leader is You Daily Growth Journal
- Grab a simple notebook
- Record voice memos
- Use digital notes
Just start getting your thoughts out of your head.
Pay attention to:
- What energized you?
- Where did you default to ego?
- Where did you show up in service?
- Who grew because of your leadership today?
Clarity comes from reflection.Redefine “Winning”
Instead of measuring your success by:
- Praise you received
- Recognition you gained
- Promotions or titles
Measure it by:
- Who gained confidence
- Who stepped up
- Who found clarity
- Who felt seen
This redefinition changes your entire trajectory.Practice Quiet Leadership
Not every leadership moment is visible.
Send the encouraging message.
Advocate for someone in a room they’re not in.
Acknowledge someone’s effort publicly.
Have an honest but kind conversation.
Often, the most meaningful leadership happens quietly.Develop Self-Leadership First
Leading others well requires:
- Emotional regulation
- Self-awareness
- Integrity
- Clear values
When you can lead yourself — your reactions, your fears, your insecurities — you create safety and stability for others.
That’s not self-serving.
That’s foundational.
You’re Already Leading
Leadership often feels like a secret club.
You wonder:
When do I get invited?
When do I officially become a leader?
Do I need the title first?
Here’s the secret:
You are already leading.
Every decision you make.
Every standard you set.
Every action you model.
Every conversation you have.
Leadership isn’t something you’re waiting to become.
It’s something you’re practicing right now.
The question isn’t “Am I a leader?”
It’s “What kind of leader am I choosing to be?”
If leadership has felt heavy lately — if you’ve been wondering how to “get it right” — maybe the invitation is simply this:
Shift the lens.
Look around.
Help someone grow.
Because in the end, leadership isn’t about you.
And that’s exactly why it matters.
“Leadership begins with self-awareness, but it matures in service. The moment you focus on helping others grow, you begin to grow beyond yourself.”
Resources to Dive Deeper
Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek – A powerful exploration of how great leaders create environments of safety and trust.
Dare to Lead by Brené Brown – A practical and courageous guide to leading with vulnerability and accountability.
The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey – A timeless framework for self-leadership and character-driven growth.
The Leader is You - A Daily Growth Journal – A guided reflection tool designed to help you build awareness and intention in your leadership practice.
Designing Your Life by Bill Burnett & Dave Evans
This book offers a refreshingly practical and human approach to rethinking your career and life, grounded in design thinking rather than pressure-filled decision-making. Instead of asking “What’s my one true path?”, the authors invite you to explore curiosity, experimentation, and small prototypes as a way to gain clarity over time.
Through exercises, reflections, and real-world examples, leaders learn how to test ideas without blowing up their lives, gather data from lived experience, and make intentional choices aligned with their values. It’s especially powerful for leaders who feel successful on paper but uncertain beneath the surface, and who want a thoughtful, structured way to evolve without burning everything down.
Consider how many different pieces of content you see in any given week. See something that resonates with you? Share it with us to feature it in our Social Media of the Week section.
“The most powerful shift in leadership happens when you stop asking, ‘How am I doing?’ and start asking, ‘Who is growing because I’m here?’”
-Leadership Mastery Network
